by Margarita Tartakovsky on August 24, 2010
{Me doing one of my fave things: browsing old books}
If you’ve been reading Self-ish for the past year (hi honey!), you’ll notice some changes, specifically in the tagline and “about” page. That’s because for a long time, I wasn’t sure about this blog’s message. I looked to other blogs for direction and inspiration (this isn’t a bad thing). I thought I had to fit a certain mold.
But while writing Self-ish, I realized that I’m no Zen Habits (I know, what a shocker) or another personal development blog.
While I love list posts, I’m not that great at dishing out detailed step-by-step guides.
I don’t have the prescription to eliminate procrastination (I may have some ideas I’d love to share, but I’m no motivational guru).
I don’t have the secret to productivity. I don’t use various productivity systems, and I can’t rate them. In fact, I get overwhelmed just reading about them. I prefer to write my to-do list on a piece that I usually misplace by the end of the day.
I’m not sure if I write “killer” content. Or if my blog headlines are hot and click-worthy.
I haven’t had some major epiphany in my life. But I’ve had kernels of lessons sprinkled throughout.
For a long time, I stopped writing this blog because I felt like it was floundering. It was lost at sea. I felt lost. And I was too busy brainstorming what types of posts readers would want to find on a personal development or self-improvement blog. I had tons of potentials but shot down many of my ideas. It isn’t that I don’t like the posts I’ve written. I’m very proud of some of them. But a few feel contrived and forced.
And isn’t that what usually happens when we try to be something we’re not?
And it isn’t that I dislike personal development blogs. To the contrary, I find them valuable and inspiring.
But what separates a great blog from another great blog is the blogger. The blogger’s voice. Their personality. Their perspective. Each valuable blog has a distinct voice and way of writing.
To me, this is a lesson in getting to know yourself better. Sometimes, knowing what we’re not can lead us to knowing who we are.
So I’m going to write what I know and what I find interesting, and I hope you’ll find it interesting, too. It might seem like a hodgepodge, but the goal is to explore ourselves and find our own unique voices.
The tagline and “about” page may still change from time to time, as I explore and evolve. And I hope you’ll join me.
Have you had an experience that made you realize who you are or who you aren’t? What are your favorite ways to get to know yourself better? If you’re a blogger, how did you find your unique voice?
by Margarita Tartakovsky on August 9, 2010
{image credit}
I’m sorry for being absent for so long. No worries! Regular posting will resume shortly. Thanks so much for reading! 
Last week I felt like a waste of space. Any productivity, motivation, good writing, whatever, went out the window. I was useless. I couldn’t muster up one logical, good sentence to save my life. And that made me very angry and frustrated.
Yes, I realize that calling yourself a waste of space is harsh – and uncalled for. But I think it perfectly sums up all the teeth-grinding frustration one feels when nothing seems to come out right.
So here’s how you can pick yourself up and salvage the day when you’re feeling ferociously frustrated and utterly useless. I hope these help!
- Move. If it’s possible to change your surroundings, do so. This might mean anything from moving to another room to working at a coffee shop (or library) to going outside. A breath of fresh air can do wonders for your mood and getting some clarity. If it’s not possible for you to move locations, try changing how you’re sitting. Sit up with your shoulders down and chest lifted. A better posture can help – even if just a bit.
- Read something that makes you happy or inspired. When we feel like a waste of space, we’re drowning in frustration and negative feelings. Reading something inspiring or uplifting can boost our mood and give us some inspiration for whatever task we’re trying to tackle. It can put things into perspective, which is tough to see when, again, we’re swimming in icky feelings. For me, reading a well-written article or a positive post can be inspiring.
- Listen to your body. Your waste-of-space feelings might be trying to tell you something. So tune into your body. What is it saying? Are you exhausted? If so, can you take a quick 20-minute nap? Are you hungry? Get yourself a snack. Being hungry only exacerbates exhaustion and a negative mood. I don’t know about you, but when I’m hungry, I’m the world’s most crankiest person! (My boyfriend can attest to this.) Are you feeling aches and pains? If so, get up and do some stretches! The same goes for if you’re tense or anxious.
- Be a smart procrastinator. You’re probably already procrastinating because you can’t seem to get anything done. That was me last week. I couldn’t do a thing. Nothing I wrote sounded smart, good or clever. In fact, it barely made sense. Linda from The Renegade Writer, one of my favorite blogs, suggests engaging in “scheduled procrastination.” In another post, she talks about the various mini actions you can take that are still meaningful and helpful but are also technically procrastinating. Here are some examples for writers (which she took from “100 Micro-Actions for Work” by by Allyson Lewis).
- Clip an article or forward an online article to a colleague.
- Go to the website of your local professional association and submit a speaker proposal form.
- Read 10 pages of a book.
- Schedule a regular computer backup.
- Place a number of business cards in your wallet/purse so they are always handy.
- Make a list of 10 books that can improve your career knowledge. (May I suggest The Renegade Writer and The Renegade Writer’s Query Letters That Rock?)
- Don’t make it worse. It’s important to accept that for whatever reason, you’re having a bad day. Maybe you didn’t get enough sleep or something is weighing on your mind. If you can’t lift your mood or increase your productivity, just try your best not to demolish your day. Avoid criticizing your work and try to shoo any negative thoughts away. You might feel like what you’re creating is crap, but just work through it. Just create. Remember that you can improve it later today or tomorrow.
- Set a timer. To help you get tasks done, set a timer and promise to work until you hear that first ding. The worst thing about a waste-of-space day is feeling out of control and horribly unstructured. This only adds to you feeling like a wild animal flailing about, who’ll never be able to formulate an intelligent thought ever again (yes, this is an accurate descriptor, at least for me). So structure can help you get some control back and organize your day better.
- Don’t dwell. Ruminating about how terrible you feel, what you haven’t done, why you hate yourself, etc., makes matters worse. If your brain keeps churning out these potentially destructive thoughts, just keep telling yourself to move forward. In reality, you’re just having a bad day. There’s no reason to beat yourself up. Everyone has a bad day. Try to learn from it and move past it.
What do you do on days when you can’t focus or be productive, when nothing seems to be going right? How do you lift yourself from a terrible mood?
